I pressed my face up close to the mirror and looked.

In the mirror was a girl wearing a shirt.

The shirt was too big for her body, making it look like she was wearing a rain poncho.

Even when I blinked, the reflection stayed the same.

Even when I rubbed the mirror with my hand, it was the same.

Somehow, she resembled a character I used to like a long time ago.

Yeah, she resembled her.

That was the problem.

“This makes no senseee?”

I was startled by my own voice.

It was a girl’s voice.

And not just any girl’s voice, but a thin, high pitched tone you would expect from an anime character.

The face was small and the eyes were big.

Up to that point, it was fine.

Most celebrities look like that too.

The problem was that the eyes were absurdly big.

Big enough that beams might shoot out of them at any moment.

“What the hell!”

Every time I opened my mouth, the voice that came out was strange.

It was my voice, but it wasn’t my voice.

I tried forcing my voice lower.

“Ah, ah.”

Regardless of my will, a high toned sound echoed through the bathroom.

It was a pleasant, pretty voice.

But it wasn’t the voice I wanted.

I spun around in place like a Beyblade.

Even as my body spun, the outline followed clearly.

Like a cartoon character.

To top it all off, silver hair and ruby colored eyes I had never encountered once in my life.

“I don’t want to become a Vtuber!”

I screamed while grabbing my hair.

I didn’t even know who I was supposed to complain to.

‘Is this really my hair?’

It hurt, so it must be my hair.

Even after messing it up into a frizz, there was still a clear outline.

Like someone had drawn it.

I had become a 2D Vtuber in reality.

* * *

It took a full half day for me to accept reality.

Time I spent crawling back into bed, insisting it had to be a dream, and sleeping again.

When I woke up again, my appearance was the same.

I considered slamming my head into the wall, but stopped because it would hurt.

I ordered food.

For some reason, I craved malatang (skewered meats).

At spice level zero.

While shoveling malatang into my mouth, I sank into thought.

‘Should I turn on a stream?’

That was the conclusion I reached after thinking.

Maybe my head shrinking also lowered my intelligence.

‘It’s not like anyone will watch anyway.’

I logged into Pajik Pajik and prepared the stream.

Just in case, I turned on the cheap secondhand cam I had bought earlier.

Without even cleaning up the malatang, I started the stream.

‘As expected, not a single person.’

I didn’t even set the title properly.

There was no point thinking up a provocative title.

No one would watch anyway.

I kept stuffing malatang into my mouth.

My mouth was tingling.

“Haaa, sss, spicy.”

I gulped down the bottled water beside me.

The chat window scrolled up.

You’re not a face cam streamer, you’re a Vtuber. Fix the title.

For a moment, I doubted my eyes. [TL: She is facecam streaming, but she looks like an avatar.]

There was chat.

I didn’t have time to space out.

I opened my mouth and replied.

“I am a face cam streamer though?”

What kind of face cam streamer? Do you even know what that means?

“I look like this though.”

ㅋㅋㅋ Oh is that the concept?

“No, I really look like this.”

It wasn’t what I wanted, but this really is how I look right now.

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Got it got it

I clenched my teeth at the mocking comment.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol from yesterday.

Or maybe my emotions had become more sensitive because my body changed.

I don’t know.

Tears welled up.

No viewers.

No one believing what I said.

And even the one person who came in was mocking me.

‘If I’d just been a woman from the start, I’d have done well too.’

The resentment that had built up over the past month reared its head.

Emotions I had bottled up leaked out with a sour stench.

My heart exploded like a glass jar full of kimchi.

“I am a woman! My eyes are bright red! I’m eating red malatang! Then that’s a woman! If you’re a woman, you’re a face cam streamer! I am one! Hic, hngh…”

I couldn’t control my emotions.

How many years had it been since I cried like this?

And with the stream still on.

Humiliating.

The eyes are red though
Concept’s insane ㅋㅋㅋ crazy
What is this, crying from the first stream ㅋㅋㅋ
What’s that avatar quality? New Prism member?
ㄴ no news about that
Malatang isn’t red though? It’s white as hell
Surprise reveal? The quality makes no sense
Tech’s crazy these days. Is this a solo debut?
You’re a face cam streamer so don’t cry ㅋㅋ
How much did it cost?
Why ask that already ㅋㅋ protect her
Is that your dad’s shirt?

Through my tear blurred vision, I could see the chat.

As I cried for a while, the chat piled up.

I don’t know when they all crawled in.

They were chatting among themselves just fine.

Short messages stacked up like a tower.

Dense and fast.

Without caring how I felt.

“Hic.”

I hiccupped.

Wiped my tears and snot.

Suddenly, embarrassment washed over me.

I turned off the stream.

Ending stream like this is wild
Why am I crying too wtf
I wouldn’t have watched if you didn’t cry
Then that’s that lol
I thought it was a concept?
It’s acting dumbass ㅋㅋ
That was way too real

I ignored it and shut it off.

Noisy.

I put the leftover malatang into the fridge.

‘I’ll heat it up tomorrow.’

It was meant to be eaten alone, but maybe my stomach had shrunk.

I couldn’t even eat half.

I got ready for bed and lay down.

‘I can’t sleep.’

I turned on YouTube on my phone.

Lately, only Vtubers show up in my algorithm.

Probably because I keep watching them to study.

They’re kind of fun too.

Short videos are easy to watch.

Clipped videos naturally show up a lot.

I wanted to forget everything.

I kept scrolling nonstop to fill myself with dopamine.

After watching four or five videos.

I saw a thumbnail that looked familiar.

My finger stopped.

The video auto played.

Damn autoplay.

[You’re a face cam streamer! Hic, hngh…]

It was me.

Me from just tens of minutes ago.

The shame I had forgotten surged back.

I closed it.

‘Ten thousand, right.’

Even then, I checked the views.

I shouldn’t have.

But it was right there.

I didn’t open the comments.

I learned yesterday that opening comments is poison.

I won’t open them.

Really.

‘Maybe just a little?’

Pandora’s box was clearly made to be opened.

Humans always want to do what they’re told not to.

I opened Pandora’s box.

Knowing it was a poisoned chalice.

ㄴWhy is there no YouTube link?
ㄴThis person doesn’t have a YouTube
ㄴNewbie?
ㄴYeah
ㄴThat quality is insane, are they filthy rich?
ㄴLooks like a Middle Eastern oil rich guy doing Vtubing as a hobby lol
ㄴNo but seeing the avatar eating malatang and drinking water makes it weirdly believable
ㄴNot a Vtuber, it’s a face cam streamer lol

There were barely any hateful comments.

Most were praising the quality or asking about me.

It was lucky I streamed on an unused alt account.

Otherwise, a month’s worth of black history would’ve been shown to ten thousand people.

I quickly made a YouTube profile.

Even while writhing in shame, I was thinking things like ‘strike while the iron is hot.’

That’s how starved I’d been for views.

I was a dying man in the open sea, staring at seawater.

When you’re dying of thirst, can you really tell urine from water?

‘What should I name myself?’

I needed to put in a name.

Nothing good came to mind.

My old nickname was ‘Baekgugu.’

I’d even been told, “It literally sounds like a dog lol”

I couldn’t keep using it.

‘What kind of nickname would that otaku like?’

The first thing that came to mind was Dongin.

Should I ask him?

‘No, Dongin is a bad idea.’

I can’t ask him.

My voice is a girl’s voice now.

Even if it’s text, I don’t want to imagine him finding out.

Especially him.

Possible!

Dongin would say that with a thumbs up.

Goosebumps ran over my arms.

‘This is when you need ChatCPT.’

Tap tap, I typed on the keyboard.

[Come up with a Vtuber name viewers would like]

[Here are some Vtuber name ideas viewers might like!]

Nekoring – cat + cute sound
Miyumiyu – soft and cute
Pporinko – small and sparkly
Morumoru – small animal like cute

Nekoring, Miyumiyu…

None of them were easy.

I felt like coughing up blood.

‘What even is Pporinko?’

Might as well call it Pachinko.

‘Since I was Baekgugu, should I put white in it?’

I searched what white was in Japanese.

[White in Japanese is shiro]

Shiro alone felt too common.

One of the two major Vtuber agencies, Prism, also uses color-based names.

Aka, Kino and so on.

[Come up with a Vtuber name viewers would like using ‘Shiro’]

Even after what just happened, I relied on ChatCPT again.

The convenience of information pouring out like a receipt is hard to deny.

Shirohana, Shironeko…

Among them, I found one that was at least acceptable.

‘Shiroring.’

It wasn’t easy for me either, but it was better than the others.

So without much thought, I set my nickname to ‘Shiroring.’

Later, during reactions, I would regret this choice.

But no matter what name I chose, the result might have been the same.

Viewers exist to make fun of you in the end.

* * *

“Mm, malatang is tasty…”

I woke up.

What was I even muttering?

I grabbed my phone and opened the YouTube profile I had made yesterday.

[Subscribers: 0]

Now that I think about it, I haven't uploaded a single video.

I’d just slapped a cropped stream screen on there.

Of course subscribers wouldn’t increase.

I opened Pajik Pajik.

[Followers: 109]

109?

My eyes snapped open.

I jumped up and stared at my phone.

109.

A number I couldn’t even get close to in a month as Baekgugu.

‘Being a woman really is something.’

That wasn’t the only difference.

But back then, I believed that was it.

‘What should I do?’

Momentum built.

Forgetting all about crying yesterday, I whistled while thinking about what to stream.

‘Oh, should I do this?’

The horror game I played before caught my eye.

I paid money for it, so it felt like a waste to just leave it.