“Do you know the saying ‘the eyes speak as much as the mouth’? That’s why I can tell from your face that you’re angry at me right now, so tell me… why is it that every time you see Grandpa, you look so angry?”

I remember Grandpa asking me that when I was still little, around the time I was attending kindergarten.

Back then, the reason I was angry at Grandpa… or rather, disliked him, was simple. At the time, I really hated my own name, and the person who named me was this very Grandpa.

I mean, it’s strange, right. Fujino Ginoko (silver child).

It might be better than those so-called flashy names people talk about, but even so, Ginoko? What is that, an old, wrinkly name? And yet my older brother’s name was completely normal.

Well, as it turns out, this name belonged to Grandpa’s older sister who had already passed away, in other words, my great-aunt. I’d always thought it sounded like an old lady’s name, but it really was a name from the elderly generation.

From what I heard, even for my mother, who was Grandpa’s daughter, that great-aunt was someone she admired deeply and thought was extremely cool. She respected her enough to immediately agree when the idea of naming me after that great-aunt was suggested.

…But honestly speaking, being forced to carry the name of someone I’d never even met was just troubling.

To begin with, is it really okay to give a newborn child the name of a deceased person, even if that person was greatly admired? That’s what I thought.

“Nyah nyah! Granny!”

“Shut up!”

There was another reason I came to hate this name. There were a few kids in my kindergarten class who teased me because of it.

Back then, I wasn’t the type to just stay quiet when people said things to me. Every time I got teased, I’d immediately clench my fist and get into a fight with those boys, and every time, the kindergarten teacher had to step in and break it up.

“Do you hate your name, Ginoko-chan?”

“Because…it sounds old…”

The eyes speak as much as the mouth. It was probably around this time that I really felt the weight of those words.

Because even if it was a name I hated, to my mother and Grandpa it was a truly precious name, and every time I said I didn’t like it, they’d look at me with such sad eyes.

Honestly, I wished they’d just scold me outright. I wished they’d say, ‘It’s just a child’s tantrum, an unreasonable act of selfishness,’ and deny my feelings outright.

So I put a lid on the feeling of hating it, telling myself things like, ‘When I grow up, it’s actually a fairly normal name, so I’ll probably get used to it someday,’ and while carrying that vague, unsettled feeling inside me, I spent my childhood days like that.

The turning point for me came around the time I entered elementary school.

* * *

“Look, Kanata! Ginoko! This is the house we’re going to live in from now on!”

“Oooh!”

“So this is it…”

Just before I entered elementary school, we moved to the neighboring town. My parents’ long-awaited dream home had finally been completed.

My older brother was sad about ending up at a different school from his friends, but I didn’t really have any close friends in kindergarten, and I was actually happy when I found out I’d have my own room.

“There’s a child the same age as Ginoko-chan living in this house. You’ll be going to school together from now on, so let’s go say hello.”

“Huh…”

…I never would have imagined that the kid I met here would turn out to be stranger than expected, and that even though we were just neighbors, we’d still be involved with each other all the way into high school. Back then, I couldn’t have dreamed of it.

“My name is Sakura Ayuri! What’s your name?”

“…Fujino Ginoko.”

My first impression was… what a noisy person.

It sounds rude, and she probably didn’t mean it that way herself, but the look in Ayu’s eyes when she looked at me back then was… how should I put it, like a child who’d just been given a new toy, sparkling and brimming with excitement.

“Ohhh! Ginoko-chan likes games? What kind do you play?”

“…The one where you build houses… that.”

“Ginoko-chan, that’s amazing! You’re building proper houses! All I make are pit dwellings…”

“I watch videos… also what’s a pit dwelling?”

“What’s that!? I don’t know anything like that!?”

“…Ayuri, don’t you watch videos or strategy guides?”

She really was just as noisy as that first impression suggested.

No matter what I did, she reacted in an exaggerated way, praising me excessively with ‘Amazing, amazing!’ and more than anything, what caught my attention while interacting with her was this.

“……”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“…Nothing.”

Those eyes.

They were different from the classmates who treated me like I was difficult to handle. But they were also different from the adults who acted like they understood and tried to lecture me indirectly.

If anything, they were like the eyes of those boys who used to make fun of my name back then… eyes that openly showed their emotions without hiding them at all. The feelings being conveyed were the exact opposite, though.

“Ohhh… so you don’t like your own name, Ginoko-chan?”

“…Yeah.”

Those warm eyes and atmosphere, the complete opposite of those boys, felt so comfortable that before I knew it, I was confiding my worries to her.

Maybe I thought she might understand… or even if she didn’t, with how carefree she was, maybe she’d clearly say, ‘You’re wrong.’ I think I had that kind of expectation.

“Why? It’s cool!”

“…Cool?”

Contrary to those expectations, what came back wasn’t agreement or denial, but praise delivered with those same sparkling eyes as always.

“Why?”

Before I realized it, the words had left my mouth.

Why did she think that way, why could she say it so decisively… why could she convey her feelings to someone so clearly without being afraid?

I had decided to put a lid on mine because I didn’t want to see how people’s faces would change after hearing them.

“W-well… I guess it feels kind of cool and sharp, image-wise… and I also just like silver more than gold, so… and then…”

“Huh…”

“Well, anyway! Ginoko-chan will definitely grow up to be a cool, beautiful woman someday! I think it’s a really good name!”

So why was she able to say exactly the words I wanted to hear, words even I hadn’t realized I was longing for?

“…You think so?”

“Yeah, yeah! Ginoko-chan will definitely be a stunning beauty! Your mom’s really beautiful too!”

I’m sure I was unusually fidgety at that moment.

To be honest, even when Grandpa or my mom praised my name, I’d think things like, ‘They think it’s a good name because they know the great-aunt it came from.’

And even when adults who didn’t know my great-aunt praised my name, I’d think, ‘They don’t even know anything, they’re just dressing it up and praising it randomly.’

…Yeah, no matter how you look at it, I was way too twisted back then.

But that’s exactly why the praise coming from an unexpected direction, from this girl… from Ayu, who was obviously saying it from the heart, felt strangely ticklish.

The person doing the praising was probably thinking that I was fidgety because she said I’d grow up to be beautiful.

Ah, thinking back on it, even from this time on, Ayu was stupid and foolish, and warm-hearted.

* * *

I woke up from my dream when Sumire-san shook me awake.

It seemed the bus had arrived safely at school, and after disbanding there, it was now just me and Ayu walking home together in the evening glow.

“…After singing that much on the bus, you can still sing?”

“Well, you know, since everyone was there, I couldn’t really sing the songs I like, so it felt kind of unsatisfying…”

Liar. I heard from Hina and Sumire-san that while I was sleeping, she put in old songs, tokusatsu songs, and anime songs.

Apparently she was nervously adding them while saying things like, ‘If it’s an old but famous classic, it’s safe, right!’ and ‘If it’s something people probably aren’t watching, they won’t realize it’s an anime song, right?’

“Fuaaah…”

“Oh, Gin-chan, yawning? You slept that much on the bus and you’re still sleepy?”

“If someone’s passionately singing right in the seat in front of you and hyping things up that much, yeah.”

“S-sorry… wait, am I the bad one here?”

You are.

If it were just up to the point where she was singing together with Hina and the others from the same middle school, I could still understand it. But if she was singing that much, the excitement would spread even to people from other schools, and on top of that, Ayu going solo made it inevitable.

“Hina was pretty worn out by the time we got to school too, wasn’t she? She was more tired than from the actual field trip.”

“I don’t know! Everyone just pulled out maracas and started fooling around on their own!”

Well, when you put it that way, it almost feels like Hina and the others were more at fault.

Come to think of it, a few others besides Hina looked pretty worn out too, so it must have gotten really lively while I was asleep.

“This is so unfair… ～♫”

Ayu started singing again.

This song was… I think it was from some robot anime. Sometime before, I remembered Ayu singing it at karaoke while slightly old anime footage played in the background.

“～♪”

“…”

I don’t know the original anime, but at karaoke, I remember it being a song that carried a sense of melancholy. It was probably just a random pick influenced by the evening scenery.

But now, maybe because Ayu was in a good mood and singing a cappella, it sounded less sad and dark than before, and more like a song filled with faint, bright hope.

“You’re in a good mood, Ayu. Did you have fun today?”

“Hm? Of course!”

“…I see.”

Just like Grandpa said, you really can sort of understand a person’s feelings by looking at their eyes. And with Ayu, if she puts even a little emotion into her singing, her feelings leak out to others completely.

So there was no need to ask… anyone who saw this voice, this face, this behavior, this happily carefree Ayu would know, even without asking directly, that today was a fun day for her.

And yet, I still asked if she’d had fun today.

“You can tell just by looking at me right now, right? You’re weird, Gin-chan.”

“…Yeah.”

See, even she says it herself. From the outside, I probably just looked like I was getting sentimental from the atmosphere.

But because I dreamed about when we first met, I think this now. Even if they say the eyes speak as much as the mouth, in reality, even if you can understand emotions, you can’t understand the finer thoughts.

In middle school, I was made keenly aware of that by the childhood friend right in front of me, which is why I couldn’t help but ask.

“How about you, Gin-chan? Did you have fun?”

“…Well, it was okay.”

“I see… that’s good!”

Even though I only said ‘okay,’ she smiled as if I’d answered that I had an amazing time.

It felt like she was smiling as if to say, ‘I understand how you feel,’ and that made me a little irritated. I couldn’t even pretend to understand Ayu’s feelings.

“Youth seems long, but it’s actually short! Even if you think it’s only been a little over a month, before you know it, it’ll be gone in a flash.”

“When you say it, it kind of sounds convincing.”

“Right!?”

I wonder if Ayu realizes that, for me, the fun youth she talks about almost always includes Ayu herself.

Every time Ayu tries to make our youth fun, her presence takes up a bigger and bigger place in our lives.

“…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

She probably doesn’t realize it. With that carefree expression on her face. That only I, who knows Ayu’s secret, feel a little lonely.

Ayu resumes humming.

As I listen to it, I think to myself, This feeling of loneliness is probably just because of the sunset and the song.