“M-Mom, welcome.”

When I open the front door, there stands a middle-aged woman in a pantsuit.

Her suit is sharply fitted and her eyes have a slightly uptight, nervous look.

“Here. Carry my bag.”

“Ah, okay.”

I hurriedly take the bag from my mom.

Whoa, heavy.

At a glance it just looks like the kind of big commuter bag a sales office lady would carry, so what’s in here?

For it to feel this heavy even to the well-trained arms of Tachibana Tomoki, that’s a serious weight.

“Hmph, at least you keep your room clean. Hm? You were in the middle of cooking?”

Kicking off her pumps with her now-free hands, Mom steps into the room, glances around once and says that.

“Y-yeah, that’s right!”

There was no way I could clean up the half-made food Ecchan-sensei had started in such a short time, so I bluff that I’m the one who was cooking.

But my heart rate has been spiking from nerves this whole time and I just can’t calm down…

I mean, of course I’m nervous: I have zero prior knowledge of this character who never appeared in the game and yet I have to act like I’m her son, someone incredibly close to her.

“So, what brings you here today, Mom?”

“I just dropped by because I was working nearby.”

“I-I see. But next time, if possible, I’d kind of like you to let me know before you come… You know, from a puberty-boy perspective.”

Mom gives me a damp, piercing glare and my tone deflates.

Crap, did I just say something that sounds unnatural for Tachibana Tomoki!?

“Hmmm… You’re managing to camouflage yourself pretty well as an ordinary high school boy, huh.”

“Camouflage?”

“Ah, that’s right.”

Saying that, Mom walks straight toward the wall without hesitation.

Ah! Hey! Not that way!

Over there is the door to the secret room!

“W-w-w-wait, Mom! Not that side!”

Before I can stop her, Mom presses her palm against the wall.

‘Ah, it’s over…’

Pshuu—!

With an unmistakable airlock sound, the secret room’s door opens and I cover my face with my hands to escape reality.

“Honestly… I still don’t understand your father’s hobbies.”

With a sigh and not looking surprised at all, Mom stomps right into the secret room.

Eh?

Mom… looks like she knows about this room?

Ah, she does?

Thank god…

“Looks like you’re properly maintaining the guns.”

“Y-yes…”

“Ah, this is the replacement ammo and the new rifle your father asked me to bring. I broke the parts down to carry it, but a sniper rifle really is heavy. That computer-controlled sight is just ridiculously big.”

No, like…

You’re talking like, “It was heavy, but I did my best to pack my homemade side dishes into Tupperware and bring them for you,” but what you actually brought is the complete opposite of heartwarming!

“This one’s supposedly well reviewed. The barrel is cold-hammer-forged CRMOV steel and it can shoot at ranges around 3,000 meters.”

“H-huh… really…”

Yeah, I have no idea.

I shouldn’t know any of this…

But I’m shocked to find that I perfectly understand the gun’s structure and every point Mom is talking about using the memories of Tachibana Tomoki, not my past life self.

I give up.

What even is this situation!?

Just a moment ago I was all excited, trying to seduce a female teacher and now the whiplash is insane…

And what’s with this parent and child having a casual discussion about guns!?

This family is seriously messed up.

“Hm? Unlike usual, you’re not rushing to touch it. Normally, the second it’s about guns, your eyes light up and you’re all over them.”

“Ah… no, I want to touch it! I’m itching to touch it! Really!”

Afraid of arousing suspicion, I hurriedly reach out and touch the disassembled sniper rifle parts.

Come to think of it, in this Japan, I don’t have a gun possession license, so just touching a gun already makes me a criminal, doesn’t it?

Mom… I’ve become an ex-con… I’m sorry…

Then I remember my current Mom is basically a gun courier and is knee-deep in crime already.

…Yeah, no need to apologize.

“As expected. You’re assembling a gun you’ve never seen before, like it’s an AK-47.”

AK-47?

Ah, that famous long-selling gun that’s easy to strip down and simple to maintain.

…Wait, how do I even know that kind of military trivia!?

And it’s obvious that the Tachibana Tomoki inside me is getting more and more hyped up.

Dude, you really do love military stuff, huh…

“Well then, I’m done with my business, so I’ll go home.”

Eh, already?

I almost say that out loud, then hurriedly clamp my mouth shut.

The sooner Mom leaves before I slip up, the better…

But still, for a mother and son they’re awfully curt and dry with each other.

“And one more thing, your regular report on Kannonzaki Haruto-sama is still missing this week’s entry. The submission deadline is tomorrow. Is it finished?”

“Eh!? Ah, yes… I just need to add today’s part and tweak the whole thing and then I can submit… it.”

The sudden drop of Haruto’s name and the phrase “regular report” shakes me, but I instantly draw on the skills from my around-thirty salaryman days and give the kind of “it’s basically in progress” status update you give a boss.

This is where my loser-salaryman experience really shines.

“I see. For the safety of Kannonzaki Haruto-sama’s noble person, your role is important, since you can stay close to him as a school friend. You must be properly aware of that.”

“O-of course…”

His noble person!?

I nod for now, but…

Huh? Is the main character Haruto, really that high-ranking of a person?

“Well then, I’m going home.”

“Y-yes!”

I snap to attention and salute-straight as I see Mom out through the front door.

I remain standing ramrod straight until the light from the shared hallway leaking through the crack in the door is completely blocked off.

Bang!

“Haaah…”

The moment the front door closes, all the strength leaves my body at once and I collapse right there on the floor.

I guess my body was much more tense than I thought.

I was definitely nervous about not letting it slip that my insides have been swapped with a different person, but it shouldn’t have been this bad.

The sweat and tension when I was facing Mom might actually be things carved into this body as Tachibana Tomoki himself.

Tachibana Tomoki-kun… maybe he wasn’t good with his mom…

‘I don’t have time to brood! I have to hurry up and write this regular report about Haruto or whatever! Where’s the previous electronic file data!?’

I’d honestly planned to go straight to sleep as soon as I got home, but a surprise visit from a female teacher, then a visit from my mother and after all those packed events, it sounds like my night is only just getting started.

Not in an erotic way, but in a corporate-slave way…

I wonder if I still have an energy drink in the fridge…